Thanksgiving... my dad... my birthday...

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Ugh. The 26th on this Month is Thanksgiving... Anyone else know what day that is?

Anyone? ...

The day my dad died. What a terrible thing for life to do. How ironic is it that Thanksgiving happens to fall on my dad's death date? So, when were going around the table telling our family what were thankful for what should I say? hmmmm...

"I am thankful that my dad died this very same day a couple years ago. I am so very thankful I am reminded by it, and can't seem to heal. I am thankful my step dad doesn't want to be a dad to me. I am thankful every time I see people with their dad's I want to cry because it will NEVER be that way for me again. I am thankful that I didn't realize I would miss my dad when he was gone. Thankful that for the rest of my life it's going to be that way. I am thankful people lied when they say all wounds heal with time because they don't. I am thankful that I am reminded so often of his death that the almost healed wounds rip open again. I am thankful I can't have a birthday with out being sad knowing my dad's funeral was on my birthday. I am thankful I have such a great life."

Then, should I say amen? Stand up and take a bow? or look at the person next to me letting them know it was their turn?

hmmm....

Aside from all the pain I learned the most important lesson in life. You don't realize what you have until its gone.

You will miss me.

You will miss me when I go
You will want the girl you used to know
Unique and different she'll never be near
You'll be wishing she was here
The girl you changed to meet your needs
To satisfy your wrong deeds
The lost girl determined to be found
Successful that girl was to be bound
She is gone you'll miss her so
You'll miss the girl you used to know

Swine Flu

Hopefully you guys have noticed that I have not been in school for the past week. I got the swine flu. It started by me laying on the couch and my mom looked at me and said my eyes were blood shot. My parents literally locked me in my room. They put a TV that had dish network on it and wouldn't let me leave my room. My mom brought me all my meals. They were afraid I had swine flu. (Swine flu can kill my step dad with his bleeding disorder. His body could turn agaisnt him and kill him.) I had a fever of 102.2 and so my mom took me to the doctors the next day.
They gave me medication for my sinuses, my cough, and anti swine pills. I also set a a date for physical therapy, and had to get a X-ray on my chest they were worried I had fluid in my lungs. I didn't.
7 days in my room sucked. I literally thought I was going to go crazy. On day two I was walking to the bathroom and everything got dark and I couldn't see and I then woke up on the floor. I had blacked out or passed out. I called my mom and she helped me up. I couldn't walk straight.
Day 4 I got a bloody nose that wouldnt stop for an hour and a half. I went to the hospital and they couldnt get it to stop. My burned the vein inside of my nose to close it but then i sneezed and broke it open again.

I now feel a little better but I cant get my body to eat. Everything tasts disgusting and my aunt saw me in the store today and was really worried she said I look way too skinny, and that it isnt healthy. :(