Worst Snowboarding Day Ever.

Hey...

Okay so, My sister and I went snowboarding today. We went to our class thing and then we had five hours to board for fun.

We were standing in line when the five guys infront of us turned around. They were like high. One of them was like
"Hey Gurlies." We just kinda nodded and he turned around. Then the same one looked back at me and was like,
"You have beautiful eyes!" Again, I just nodded. Then his friend was like,
"I have beautiful eyes too but you cant see them." (He had snowboarding goggles on.) Then he was like,
"Oh your girls must be shy." I said,
"No." And his friend was like,
"I am shy too we have so much in common." Then the other one was like,
"You must think we are so weird." We just kept quiet. Then he was like,
"Whats your names?" I was like
"Kacee" and katie was like
"Katie." After, that we just kept really quiet.

Then, we got to the top of the lift. With Katies brilliant idea, she wanted to go what she called "man hunting." There was this one is paticular that had a green shirt on and white snow pants. She wanted to wait for him, because she wanted to talk to him. (not dont forget him, because he comes up later on in the adventures of my day.)

So, We get snowboarding close to the bottom, we sat down because Katie wanted to do some more "Man hunting." Then we herd people yelling from the lift. Then katie was like "Crap its THEM!" They were like "WHATS YOUR GUYSES NAMES?!" Katies yelled, "KATIE AND KACEE" (dur... they asked us that already.) Then then started yelling, "DONT LEAVE" "STAY THERE!" and one was like, "IF YOU LEAVE I WILL SOCK YOU!" Then a different one was like, "ILL SOCK YOU SO HARD!"

So, we sat there debating if we should stay. Then Katie saw our friend Brenda on the lift and she told her we were going to wait up for her. So, we had to stay. A couple minutes later the five boys were sitting and standing infront of us

- -
*(katie) -
-*-

Okay, the lines are the boys, the star labeled Katie is Katie. Lol. The other star is me.

The one is front was like "Hey!"
They all gathered around. Katie was like hypervenilating. I am pretty sure I was the only one that noticed though. I dont understand why she was scared they were talking to me. The one sitting behind me was like,
"Do you guys come here often?" Katie kept silent. I said,
"Yeah, I guess." The one in the front was like,
"Oh where do you live?" (Katie and I were thinking alike. We both didn't want to tell them where we really lived. So, we told them where we used to live.) We both said,
"Alaska." They were like,
"How do you guys come here often if you live in Alaska?" Me, with my smooth awsomeness. I said,
"We visit, like every winter." Then the one infront of us was like,
"Dont you get a thousand dollars because you live there?" I was like,
"Two thousand." Then the one behind us was like,
"Will your kiss my friend? Kiss my frined on the lips?" Then the one he was talking about was like,
"Yeah, put your tounge in my mouth!" Katie and I... I guess you would say we exchanged glances. They noticed we weren't interested. I thought that they were high, so I said,
"Just to let you guys know, because you guys are high you wont remember us by tomorrow." Then the one behind us was like,
"No... You guys are unforgettable." Then the one infront of us was like,
"Do all girls in Alaska have blue eyes?" He looked at my eyes, they all five of there heads turned to Katie. Katie has like red eyes and the two that were the only ones that were talking were like,
"Oh." Then the one infront of us was like,
"Are all girls in Alaska beautiful?" Ugh. Annoying! But cute. I guess. I said,
"No." Then the one infront of us started licking Katies snowboard. YES YOU DID JUST READ THAT RIGHT! HE PUT HIS TOUNGE ON MY SISTERS SNOWBOARD THAT WAS NOT A TYPO! Then at the same time Katie picked up snow and threw it at him, and I hit him in the head with my snowboard. Then the one behind us threw snow at Katie. Then they just kinda got up and left.

We still were sitting there waiting for Brenda. Then they were on the lift again and we herd them yelling, "My friend likes you!"
urghh.

Then the kid in the green shirt that I talked about was snowboarding by us. I said,
"My sister thinks your hot!"
I didn't think he herd me. I knew he did when he stopped. He was like,
"What?" I said it again, Katie leaned over and was like,
"I am going to kill you." I didn't think he would stop to talk to us. CRAP! Then Brenda and her friends found us. They kept looking over at that kid. So, I was like,
"This is my new friend... Whats your name again?" He said,
"Casey." I could feel my jaw dropp. I also KNOW that I had a stunned look on my face. I was like,
"ME TO!" He was like,
"Really?" Then he just wouldnt leave. He went up the mountain with us twice. We just couldn't get rid of the kid! Then his friends caught up with him. Then, we just kept going. (We as in Me and Katie.) Then Katie and I sat and waited for Brenda again. Then, Casey snowboarded up to us. Katie was like,
"I thought you were going to lunch with your friends?" He said,
"No, I told them I wanted to keep snowboarding with these cute girls I met skiing." Me, just being my funny self said,
"What cute girls?" I looked around. They started laughing.

Then, ugh, this is what is creepy. We got to the bottom on the mountain and he cought up to me and was like,
"Hey beautiful!" URGH!
So, on the lift Katie and I were texting each other. I can't believe he didn't notice. We had a plan to get away from him. We were going to say that our mom was out front and had to go. So, we told Brenda. I was trying to tell her quietly. She didn't catch on for a while. Then down the hill she stopped and was like,
"Hey girls what time is your mom coming?" Katie pulled out her phone and was like,
"What time is it?" Then, she was like,
"oh she is coming in ten minutes!"
"I was like okay bye!" (rushing to get out of there.) We got up and I was like,
"See you guys next week!" Brenda was like,
"Yeah we are going to hit back mountain. okay?" I said,
"Ill go. Talk that one over with Katie." Katie promised she would go to the back mountain. I was thinking WE ARE FREE! Then Casey was like,
"Wait up!" URRGH GO AWAY! We got to the bottom and were strapping ourselves out when he said, "You didn't think I was going to let you leave without a hug were you?" Lets just say we gave him a hug and RAN!

We stayed in the bus the ENTIRE time. For two hours. We were scared. lol. Well katie was scared, she was shaking. Lol. It was pretty funny. For someone who gets guys; she has no idea how to handle them. She called our mom and made it sound worse then it was. I had it under control.

Lessons learned:
1-Tell guys to leave you alone!
2-Dont tell guys Katie thinks they are hot even if she did say that.
3-RUN!



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WHY DO YOU GOTTA BE LIKE THAT?

I'm sitting here wondering... *lost in thought* What do I hate more? The fact that some people can get mad over the most stupidest things. or. The fact that you can have a perfect day and one person can just turn it all around with the snap of a freeking finger.
I dont know about you, but I want to cut those stupid fingers off. At this point I dont know where to start about today. I guess I'll start with what happened good about my day. Just so you can get a taste of what I think is a pretty good day.

Good Part:
I had a doctors appointment today, because of the surgery that I had. So, purposly trying to miss school I told my mom I was hungry. So, we went to McDondalds and got something to eat. Then, we went to the store to get something for dinner, then on an attempt to miss more school I told her we should go pay my phone bill.
So, I got to school and I had already missed: U.s. History, Art, and I walked in my math class just as the bell rang. So, then in my gym class I played backetball with the boys. Haha. I did aboslutley nothing. They did pass to me, but I threw it the second I got it. Plus the ball had no grip bump things on it. RETARDED. lol. I get to lunch not hungry because of the chocolate from the store, and the food my mom had bought me. Tyson was trying to steal my symphony bar, I didnt have lunch I just sat at the table because I wasn't hungry.

This is when my day kinda get turned around, and it is making me mad.

So, My friend... Lets call her Stephenie. She is being like so isolated from me. Like she will hang out with me, but she is quiet. Lol. Usually she is a BLAST to hang out with. When I would ask her what is wrong, she will get this weird look on her face and say nothing. I wish she would talk to me. I want to make sure I am not doing anything to make her mad. I ABSOLUTELY hate it when my friends are mad at me and I dont know what I did.

Then, Ugh! This is what makes me THE MOST MAD!

So, a different friend... Lets call this one... Lisa. Lisa is in my choir class. She is like a nerd when it comes to choir. Now me, I HATE THAT STUPID GAY CLASS! We sit next to each other. Anyways, we are supposed to sit up straight, sing loud, and keep out feet flat on the floor, and we are supposed to practice. Well the second my choir teacher isn't looking I do EXACTLY the opposite of what those are. It bugs her because I am not little mrs. perfect singer, great person, teachers pet. like her. I told her that I hated that class and she was like, "Well you could give it more effort." So, My friend Natalie (this is her real name I dont think I feel like I need to code her name she did nothing wrong.) offered to help me with choir.
So, yesterday I went up to Lisa and was like, "If it makes you happy Natalie is going to help me with choir, because apparently I am not giving it enough effort." (I said it jokingly, I dont think she got the memo.) She got all quiet and mad at me. WHAT THE FREEKING HECK!?!?!?!

So, She was mad and didn't talk to me yesterday OR today. So, In choir I was like, "Whats wrong?" She was silent. "Did I do something?" still quiet. "tell me now!" She was like, "I just get annoyed easily, that's all."

WOW! Okay what? She is mad because I wont give that stupid class enought effort? Okay, can I gay that is gay? Or is that just plain gay? I dont know about you but I think that is GAY!

I hate how dramatic people here are. Why should she care if I give choir enough effort? Why should it bug her? and how can that annoy her exactly?

UGH!

Why do people gotta be like that?

What Makes Your Different, Makes You Beautiful.

She laughs at jokes that are even funny,
and calls everyone she knows hunny.
She falls up the stairs,
and when shes hurt she pretends she care.
She wears boxers, and unmatching clothes,
and jokes around with everyone she knows.
The pain she knows it, she has been through it all.
Next time your hurt you know who to call.
She is different and thats fine.
Being different isnt a crime.
Because what makes you different,
makes you beautiful.

Dont let him leave your heart written by: me

Dont forget his loving face,
or his fatherly embrace.
The last time that you could see,
he was torn away from me.
Dont forget how he made you smile,
as you took it for granted all the while.
Understand he loved you so,
more then you could ever know.
Dont let his soul leave this place,
his loving, kind, and gentle space.
His warming soul that takes part,
dont let him leave your very heart.

Snowboarding Today...

Katie and I went snowboarding today.
I want to go up a class because I already am better then my class.
anyways Katie was at the bottom of the hill and she screamed "WE ARE WORMS!" and the instructor was like freeked out it was so funny!
Well you all know that I would type more but im exhuasted, kinda sore, dehydrated, sunburnt, and even my eyes are sun burnt.
So, Ill write more when I dont feel like passing out!

GREAT NEWS!

Okay...

It all started at lunch when Andrea and Bryanna were like, "Were big fans!" I was like, "what?" They were like, "We are big fans!" I was like, "What are you talking about?" They were like, "Your poem in Mrs. Parks class, she showed us the poem you write! We loved it so much! We are big fans! Can we get your autograph?" I sure hope I wasn't blushing!

Then at the lunch table everyone was telling me how much they liked it. DID I TELL YOU I WAS BLUSHING? I changed the subject quick, actually I just started talking about something else and while I was talking they were still telling each other about it.

Then all throughout lunch, and choir people were telling me how much they liked it. Matt stopped at my locker and told me he liked it. Again, I think I blushed.

So in our English class Mrs. Park read my poem to all the classes. The poem that I am talking about is the "If There Was No Prince Charming". (If you dont know what poem that is it's in the Janruary section in my posts somewhere.)

Anyways she started by saying, "This poem was written by a very famous author. If this person wants to reveal who they are they can; they have the choice." She put my poem up on the board, but she only showed the first paragraph. She read it out loud,

"If there was no prince charming to make your dreams come true...
There would be no one to return your glass slipper back to you...
When the clock struck twelve you would not care...
All the feeling would not be there..."

I couldn't help but smile when the whole class like sat up straight, and around me I would hear my fellow classmates wowing and asking themselves if it was Cinderella. Then, as she moved through the whole poem and EVERYONE was guessing what Disney movie I had based the paragraphs on.

"If there was no prince charming to sweep you off your feet...
No one to wake you from your dreamless sleep...
Your lips as red as a rose...
Would be lost in time, forever froze..."

Everyone was like, "Wow is it like "Sleeping Beauty"?" Mrs. Park nodded her head and asked, "Whats Sleeping Beautys real name?"

"If there was no prince charming to see beyond the speechless face...
Forever voiceless, in a watery place...
Forever forbidden to walk on land...
Following your dads every command..."

Someone shouted "ARIEL!"

"If there was no prince charming to show you a world outside your own...
On a magic carpet, a new world you would have not been shown...
Stuck with the man that doesn't care...
Who only wants to be the next heir..."

They really got into it. They were so entertained!

"If there was no prince charming to save the fairest in the land...
Stuck in a glass case you would be banned...
The piousness apple that you ate...
Would have controlled your very fate..."

People got this one right off the bat. Then Mrs. Park had a hard time at the apple part because I miss spelled it. Lol. I had a lot of miss spellings in here.


I mean I couldn't help but join in. When we got to "Beauty and The Beast one"

"If there was no prince charming to make a compromise...
You're dad would have died right before your eyes...
Your prince charming would have died when the rose was fully shed...
You would have married a man that cant see past himself instead..."

everyone was confused. Lol. So to confuse them even more I said "The Little Mermaid!" Everyone was like, "We have already done that one." I was THINKING, "Wow, are they really paying this much attention to MY poem?" Then I got serious and was like, "Beauty and The Beast." Everyone was like yeah! I can understand why they were confused, "Beauty and The Best" was a hard one to write about. Then Mrs. Park was like, "whats the "man that cant see past himself instead...?" Half the class said, "The BEAST!" and the other half was like, "THAT ONE GUY!" And Mrs. Park was like, "Whats that one guys name?" No one could think of it. Of course, I had in it my head but I didn't want to say anything. She was like, "Gustav."

"If there was not prince charming to save you from the terrible fate...
These fictional men we come appreciate...
To give us all our hopes and dreams...
To make our lives better than it seems... "

I could hear people like saying, "who wrote this?" and Mrs. Park was like, "the writer is in this room..." I smiled... Everyone was looking around, Korryn turned around and was like, "KACEE!" and Mrs. Park was like, "Yes, It was Kacee." Then everyone started clapping. I was smiling and blushing SO BAD! I swear they clapped for hours!

Then in science people were telling me how much they liked it too!!!
I was blushing and smiling. Of course...

Stupid Drama...

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okay. I have a story for you here. Its about the drama that happened to me today. Im not going to say names, because I dont really mean to tell the world how horrible this person is. I just need somewhere to vent.

Fake names:
My friend #1-Crystal
My friend #2-Brennon
Mean girl-Sierra

So, Sierra (remember these are all fake names) is the one that said that really mean thing about my dad and how she was glad he died because I deserve it. When we were in the councilers office pretty much telling on Sierra alot of things happened. I fygure I should give you some backround knowledge.

After like ten minutes of telling on each other...

The counciler says, "Kacee do you think you could forgive Sierra for saying that really hurtful think about your dad?"
I said, "Yes, and Sierra I am sorry for saying "I wonder why" when you asked why everyone was being grumpy at you today." (I really was sorry but, that is all I did to her.)
Counciler says, "Sierra is there anything you want to say?" Sierra just shook her head no. The counciler just let her go, because she was being kinda... Well I dont know what to say without it sounding rude, but kinda--bratty.

While in the councilers office we found out that she was spreading roomers and lies to my friend Crystal. (yes fake name) She was trying to make Crystal hate me by saying that I did and said a whole bunch of things that I didn't say. I was and still am kinda hurt about that. Crystal realized that, and she kinda stands up for me now. She realized that I was telling the truth; because I was and I still am.

The whole point of me telling you what happened at the councilers office was mainley just to tell you that Sierra told lies saying I did things I didn't do, she spread roomers about me, and just to make Crystal like her she told Crystal that "If Kacee gets any meaner I am going to go up into her face and say that I am glad her dad died because she deserved it." And thats really when it all started.

So, Sierra wouldn't forgive me for saying that one little thing, but I forgave her right on the spot for all the crap she put me through. Well because she couldn't forgive me that I was NOT going to forgive her now. I still dont, because I mean who would? I mean put yourself in my shoes... It hurts to be told that, not to mention being lied to, and then unture roomers saying you did things you didn't do.

So, One day she didn't have a spot to sit on the bus. She asked me if she could sit with me. I slid over and looked out the window the whole way to school. She sat with me like maybe five other times after that. The anger was just building and building!

Not to mention Crystal was hanging out with her. All the sudden they were buddy buddies. That didn't really bother me Crystal can do what ever she wants, hang out with who ever she wants. Im not going to try to control her, thats not what friends do.

So anyways, I was REALLY angry I think both of them could see that. Then at lunch time Crystal walked up to me, she kinda looked scared. lol. I think she thought I was mad at her, but I wasn't. Then I said, "I am so mad at Sierra. I could forgive her for all that crap she pulled, but she couldn't forgive me for saying "I wonder why"? Now, all the sudden because she doesn't ever have someone to sit with on the bus we are best friends?"
Crystal said, "That Is stupid because you should be the one that shouldn't have forgiven her." Then Crystal informed me that Sierra said that she came up and apoligized to me and I forgave her. I WAS A LIE! I COULD NEVER FOGIVE HER AT THIS POINT!!!

I knew I could count on Crystal. She always understands what I am going through.

Anyways, while I was talking to Crystal I thought it was my responsiblity to also help our friend Brennon who thought that Crystal was avoiding her. I knew that Crystal wasn't avoiding her because Crystal just isn't like that.

So turns out that Sierra called my friend Brennon some mean names, and also told her that she was out of the picture. Which means that Crystal was not friends with her anymore.

IT ALL WAS LIES!!!

sorry just had to vent...
thank you for listening!

Ugh...

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I really did have something excited to say, but I forgot it. Man, I was so excited to tell you too! Whoever you may be. Lol. I think Jordan, because I think she is the only one that reads this. Apparently my mom has been to. She thinks most of this stuff should be put in my journal. I mean why? Katie reads it anyways.

This is so much more fun then a journal. Except there is this one journal my friend Emily got me... ITS SO GORGEOUS! Yes, I did just call a journal gorgeous. You guys would have to see it to understand. I dont have the guts to write in it afraid I will ruin it.

This is not what I logged on to write about. There was something that happened that I NEED to tell you guys about. I CANT THINK OF IT! This is going to drive me crazy!

OH WAIT! I remember now! I went to my mom with deep hope in my eyes and this is what I said, "Mom, Because I am the sunshine of your day. The reason the sun comes up every morning. The light of your life. That feeling you get when you achieve something that seemed impossible, or when you have gotten your dream. Because I always do everything asked of me. Because I have good grades. And just because you completely love me soooooo much that you couldn't help BUT say no. Could I visit Emily summer?"

The reality of all this; I did not make that speech. I was just making it more interesting for Jordan lol. Anyways she said we could make that a possibility! I am sooo excited! I LOVE EMILY SHE IS SO NICE! I wish she lived down here. Anyways, just thought I should tell you guys why I was so excited...

worth the reading?
haha

The Dream I Had...

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If you were looking for a Lovey Dovey dream then this ISN'T what you're looking for.
Okay So In my Dream:

I was at my dads old house. Except it was different in a way. The handle was one of those ones like at school kinda. Anways...
I looked in the window and I saw my dad! In my dreams I was thinking "Is that dad? OH MY GOSH I THOUGHT HE DIED! I'M NOT HAVING TO LIVE MY LIFE WITHOUT HIM! I can apoligize for every wrong thing I have done to him!"
Practiacally building up my hopes in my own dream.
I tried opening the door and It would not open. I screamed his name and the door was not opening. He couldn't hear me.
I broke down crying and banging on the door.
-----------------------------------------
I woke up up crying. I am upset right now just thinking about how dissapointing that dream was. I have this feeling like how cruel could my dreams be to do something like that to me. Ugh. I am so upset now. Isn't that depressing?

A Walk To Remeber

Okay I FREEKING LOVE THIS SHOW!
and of course the guy in it... look at the pic and tell me he isnt cute...
because he is... who could resist that face?

Becoming Part of Something Big.

Strong, beautiful, kind, and loving women are straving to death. Women whose children have died of sicknesses we have medican for. Womens whose husbands left when times were ruff. Women that survive on a dollar a day, with no running water, and a house that hardly keeps out the elements.

Basa Body is here to help.

My Aunt Rainee is part of a organization to help the people of Kenya, Africa. I Know this is a really random post, but my Aunt is in Africa right now to help. I thought you guys reading this will some how be touched in a way never before. At least I know that I am touched and I can say I helped at least a little.

I first learned about this when my Aunt asked me to help her put labels on jars. At first I was clueless wondering why we were doing this. When we got there she started telling me about what we were doing. I asked her what "Basa" mean't, because it was the name of the label on the jars we were putting on the jars. She told me it mean't "thank you" in Kenya. I asked her questions like "Why are we doing this?" and this is what she told me:

"There are girls your age taking care of there younger siblings because both of there parents have died. They live in Mud houses that are very cold. Here we have everything we are such a spoiled country, but in Kenya women live on a dollar a day. The women there are so beautiful and so kind. They are also strong the men there are worthless, they leave when times get ruff. There women are the ones working, and striving to live. So, by selling this lotion we are putting labels on; we give them jobs. They hand sqeeze coconuts and put them into five gallon buckets and send them to us. We make them into lotion and sell them. That gives them jobs and helps take them out of poverty."

Does anyone else think there way of living is horrible? I also love how strong there women are. When she told me that I couldn't stop thinking about it for weeks. Now she is in Kenya helping out AS WE SPEAK. Thats why everytime she asks me to put labels on jars I willingly accept.

By giving a little time to something small, will one day grow into something so much bigger. I will give as much time as I need to help those women. In Kenya its not who has the most expensive clothes, the biggest house, the most friends, but really its about there willingness to survive. They are born into such a hard life, as still they are greatful for it. One of these women has more pride then our whole country put together. Thats why I am thankful for my aunt in helping me take part in something so much bigger then myself.

Thank you Aunt Rainee,
Have fun in Kenya!

People Always Leave...

---picture from Payton off of One Tree Hill---
sad isnt it?
how in so many ways this picture is true...
I hate this picture because of how true it is...
people leave right before your eyes...
even if its a parent walking out on a childs life...
or a boy friend or girl friend leaving the other...
or a best friend moving...
but in the most serious case of all death

-miss you dad-

Im Going To Be Honest...

okay, not like I lie; I'm just going to be more open to what I've been thinking latley.
Not laughing, because I'll cry okay?

Most of you know that I USED to like **gulps with embarrasement because I dont know what I saw in him he is suck a jerk** Brek. Well, I hate him now. This is not the denial hate. I PROMIES. He is such a jerk. He leeds girls on and pretends like he cares and then walks out on your life. Then he walks back in like he owns the place.

Anyways... The whole point I brought him up is because Katie likes him. She has liked him ever since I said his name for the first time. Lets just say he is the one tearing us two apart.

Well, Katie has an interesting way of flirting. So, she makes up some stupid reason to talk to him. She gets his opionion. now:
a) if his opinion is good she will go into denial. Even though she thinks highly of herself she will be in denial and say she is ugly or crap like this. Therefore, making him talk to her by arguing with him.

b)If he does agree with her she IMMEDIATLEY gets mad at him. Blocks him out of her life until he can't stand it anymore. Then he wants to talk to her even more.

Either way, Katie gets what she wants one way or the other.

Now this wouldn't bug me if they both would keep it to themselves. What I mean by this is Katie will be like "ugh i hate Brek he is such a scum..." then go into what ever excuse she decided to use on him that day. When she blocks him out of her life: he complains to me and asks if she is okay.

stuff they both use me to do:

Katie-

The other night (valentines day) she did something. I dont know what but I am completely sure it was to get attention. So, he tried calling her. She was like "what is he going calling me?" Then she pressed the end button. Then she was like I want to call someone. Then she was like "lets call Brek" she gave me the phone. When he answered I said, "I hate you stop calling me." Making it look like she said it. THEN (this is was really makes me mad)she uses what I just said to call him back to get him to talk to her. Now, of course, I was in the backround talking crap about him just to make it worse for both of them because I am sick of both their crap.

Brek-

The first time he ever called me he said, " Hey, Do you know a Katie Llewelyn?" I said, "I ough to she is my sister" (thats when the using me started)(which was like a year ago or so)

Then, one night I was brushing my teeth and he calls me "Hey Kacee, do you know whats wrong with Katie?" Man, that made me so Mad! This is not exaclty the same but it comes pretty close. He still turns out a jerk in the end.
"I dont know why dont you ask her youself?"
"I tried she wont answer her phone"
"Well I got to go brush my teeth"
"you really hate me dont you?"
"No, I just dislike you with GREAT intensity"
"well thats harsh and a half"
"No whats harsh and half is that fact THE ONLY time you ever talk to me is to get to my sister."
"I do not"
"oh (me reciting some of the things he has said to me) "hey kacee, Is Katie going to the parade?" "Whats wrong with katie?" "Hey you should go to the game, bring katie with you." "hey so kacee are you and katie going to the dance?" sound familiar Brek"
---nothing
"well I got to go brush me teeth"
"how many times have you brushed your teeth today?"
"---5 times"
"wow, you really do hate me"
"yeah..."
"what makes you think I didnt call to talk to you?"
"maybe because the first thing you said is "whats wrong with Katie?"

can anyone see what im trying to get to?
that they both use me to get to each other? They pretend like they hate each other so bad but really its just an excuse so they can talk about each other.

I wish they would just go out so they will leave me alone-- now a couple months ago that would really bug me because I still liked him. He is a jerk now.
I dont know what I saw in him.

the whole point is, is Katie wont leave me alone about any of the guys she liked.
I dont think she realizes that I dont give a crap what they did or didnt say. How many times they blink when they were talking to her. How many breathes they take.
because honestly I won be surprised if she got that detailed. She gets into such details I seriously could rip my own hair out! Not to mention she talks about it for MONTHS on end. Again and again and again and again and again AND AGAIN.

She is doing it right now as we speak. Right now she is writing a hate list and other then me on it Brek and Kevin are.
im guessing she didnt get the response they gave her.
and today in the car she texted Kevin and Brek and said, "do you hate girls with long legs?" (we had just went to the movies and a guy in the movies said he didnt like long legs and she took that and used it to get attention)
I said, "wow, katie you just sent that to them. Do you really need attention that bad? "
she simply said, "yeah"
I knewe it bugged her that I said that. I could see it in her face.
I just silentley laughed to myself.

anyone see why I am sick of it?
because if you dont let me know.
I have plenty more stories.

I Dyed My Hair

so if the title was not enough for you

(i look so pale! its darker in reality and thats a bad picture... so sorry if i blinded you!!!)

I dyed my hair!
its a light brown
everyone keeps telling me it does not look different
and that bugs me
it does to me
way different
I like it
so does my mom
although we both want it darker
hopefully she will get some more dye so we can MAKE IT LOOK DIFFERENT
I hope people at school will think its different
i dont see how it DOESNT look different
because i went from ALMOST platinum blonde
to light brown
how can there not be a different
well i have to go clean the kitchen
kucky me-
(yes, I was being sarcastic)

WOW THE WEIRDEST THING JUST HAPPENED!!!

okay not even like a minute ago i posted my last two posts
and i was really upset
all the sudden i felt cold hands push me in the back
i had the chills
i flew forward...
and like i dont care about this guy anymore
....
crazy?
this is weird
I HAVE GOT TO GO CALL SOMEONE

URRGHHHH!

I wish i could explain this
but i know that im not the only one that reads my own posts
and i dont want people to read it
i dont want people to know who i am talking about
just look down
its part of a puzzle....
find the missing pieces

set me free (by me) durr

how hard are you going to make me try
to get you to look me in they eye
and see behind all these scars
so you can see my real true stars
would you ever care
would you ever be there
so many chances to you I gave
and still you manage to misbehave
how many times are you going to play this game
in the end I feel the same
broken, torn
wreckless, and worn
What you do is getting old
to you my heart I already sold
why wont you give it back
give a sore girl some slack
im sick of the way your treating me
Please, set my heart free

Sick Of Being Used.

Why is it that people think i have no feelings? Is it because I stay strong at school, because i am the nice girl? Yes... I know you guys have no idea what the heck i am talking about...
Im talking about Guys that I like, and also ones that I dont like using me to get to my sister....
Yes, Katie is prettier, skinnier, more attractive then me... but she really has no personality... If she does I've never seen it...
Im so jealous... I kind of want to dye my hair and see if its the hair color... and i want a chance...
people say we look alike... if we do then why do they always pick her... i never thought we look alike... i wish we did... then maybe somehow i would have a chance..
you know?
well maybe you dont...
but i know i am going to regret posting this because you all will read this and think that everything i am saying is true... but you guys will lie to me to make me feel better because you guys are good friends...
but really i just want everyone to tell me i am the ugliest person on the planet just so i will finally accept the fact and stop trying and just live in a basement for the rest of my life...
that or just go on being kacee..
which i really should just do...
but

Kacee isnt good enough...

freshly old scars opened up again...

okay so Dallin...
he is really nice and pretty much lets me vent on everything
well he asked me how me and my friend Lezlie (fake name)
are doing ever sents she told my friends that she was GLAD my dad DIED because I DESERVED it...
well heres the convo


d:
umm idk are you and Lezlie (fake name) still fighting
me:
okay first of all she was fighting with herself and her emotions of crap like that ALL i said to her was i wonder why we are all mad at her because she was rude to natalie... and i was never mad at her it was (someone else) THEN she goes and makes up ROOMERS that i DIDNT say so she could go complaining to (someone else) to get (someone else) to hate me. then she told me she was GLAD that my dad DIED because I DESERVED it
d:
so you did like nothing to her
me:
and i still cry over that ever freeking night because she made of lies about me saying i said things i didnt say just so she could say something to bring me down because she thinks her life sucks. She KNEW that would hurt me. SHE KNEW IT WOULD TEAR ME UP AND EAT AWAY ALL THE HEALING I HAVE DONE WITH MY DADS DEATH AND SHE JUST RIPPED IT ALL UP AND NOW I HAVE TO START FROM THE BEGGINING
me:
I did NOTHING to her
d:
do you know why she chose to pick on you
she finds the easiest one to tear down to make herself feel better and im sure she knew that your dads death still got to you and picked that to mess with you and she went way to far
me:
yeah she did... You have no idea how much i miss him... But she does...
d:
and that is why she used that against you because she knew that if she would have said one thing bad about him it would hurt you
me:
she thinks were best friends now... she thinks i can forgive her just like that... when really i am crying right now





I am so shaken up about that right now... Man I goll someone please tell me why the world loves torturing me so much... I did not do anything to her...
yeah sure i said "i wonder why"
when she said everyone is mad at me.
She DESERVED that...
but saying i wonder why everyone was mad at her was NOT rude...
at least not compared to what she said to me...
I am crying right now...
this is all so gay...
why did it have to be MY dad...
not like i would want anyone else going through all this pain...
but i sure as heck dont want any of it...

How I Spent My Day (corney poem) By Kacee Llewelyn

Im not going to do my hair today,
in my bed I will stay.
Make-up? Forget it!
Tomorrow I'll regret it.
This is how I spent my day.
For once, Im having it my way.

Candle-lit shower,
that goes on for an hour.
Loud music in my living room,
pretending to play guitar with a broom.
This is how I spent my day.
For once, Im having it my way.

No worries, No stress,
I look like a mess.
Eating all the things I can,
forget about teh diet plan.
This is how I spent my day.
For once, Im having it my way.

Long T-shirts, and boxer shorts.
Playing games of all shorts.
Roasting marshmellows over a candle,
Eating so much that my stomache cant handle.
This is how I spent my day.
For once, Im having it my way.

No one to impress today,
my worries have just melt away.
I turned the ring off my phone,
I just want to be alone.
This is how I spent my day.
For once, Im having it my way.

Laying on the grass looking up at the sky,
wondering how i let these goodtimes pass me by.
Watching the sunet melt into the stars,
forgetting about my battle scars.
This is how I spent my day.
For once, Im having it my way.

The Fall Spell (pointless poem with no plot) by Kacee Llewelyn

Walking in the park, in a fall scene.
Compared to what Im thinking, everythings so secrene.
Something about fall gives me a sense of piece.
As I walk through this park in a scarf made of fleece.
Looking at a younge couple leaning against a tree.
Thinking about what a perfect picture that would be.
A family of three throwing leaves in the air.
Enjoying every second of the smiles that they wear.
I walk slow to engrave this memory,
hopeing one day that will be me.
Leaves of all colors that all blend so well,
As I sit here absorbing the fall spell.

Dont.Be.Scared.To.Fall by Kacee Llewelyn

You may fall, get back up, and you will be okay.
Forget about the bitterness its just for today.
Dont be afraid to fall from this you will see;
Falling is the only way to help yourself be free.
Everyone falls you're not the only one so its okay.
Your not the only one today.
In all your falling you will learn;
the secrets in life you have to earn.
So, get back up and try again.
Once you fall its not the end
and because your not alone at all.
dont be scared to fall.

I want to write something that means something to somebody.

Anybody who has watched "One Tree Hill" should know who Payton is. But for those of you who dont know: she is an artist that has gone through so much. One one of the newer episodes she is a teenager and she is yelling at Lucas saying, "I want to draw something that means something to somebody."

Thats how I feel.

I want to be able to write something that people want to read over and over again because it hits that part in their heart that explains exactly how they are feeling. You know? or am I just writing something that you dont understand?

I wish my life could be so exciting and interesing that people just wish they could read about it forever and ever. But because I have a boring life, and no writing abilities I dont think this oppurtunity will pop up. I want people to hang my work on there mirrors so they can read it in the morning to either be inspired, or just be reminded not to forget who they are and what they are feeling. Does this make any sense?

I want people to just love my work. I want people to wish I would write more so they can fygure out who they are. I want them to find answers in their life by the words that I put on paper.

For example: For those of you that read. You know when you just finish an amazing book that you just cant put down, and wish would never end. You know that feeling you get? The feeling of accomplishment? The feeling you wish something like that would happen to you so you can have an expirence like what that person had?

I want my writing to be like that.

Or when you look at a painting and just stare and stare at it trying to find answers that does not really have answers. Or a book that helps you fygure out your own life when you took years trying to fygure out what that book gave you in a just a few simple words.

I hope oneday my writing will be like that. I want people to be inspired. I want people to try to be different. I want people to not care about what people think and just be who they are. Im sick of robots we call people that all do the same thing because they are scared if they are different they will not be in the "in" crowd. I want people to be nice.

I want my writing to effect people in ways what I am writing here isnt even explaining. Thats why im hoping my blog will do. Now i know i have nothing interesting to read about. I am sorry for that.

Another random post that jordan hates lol :D

I am such a nerd i finished two books in two days
to big books
lol
i like reading tho its fun...
anywho im still sore and cant do gym...
but thats not to big of a problem
and I LOST A INCH IN MY WAISTE woot woot!
lol
and it was all excercising lol
and gross salads at school
yuck lol
well later peeps

Life is like the wind; You cant see it, but you can feel it.

Has anyone ever seen the movie "A Walk To Remember"?
Its sad...
I love it!
anyways the guy on it is hot! check him out!



his name is Shane West I believe.

SO SORE!

I am so sore from snowboarding I could cry!
lol
but thats a good thing!
that means i got a work out
plus,
it isnt nearly as bad as the VERY first time I went boarding
well I would not consider it boarding because I did not snowboard down the hill at all lol...
but this time I DID!
I am like obsessed with snowboarding now!
I will seriously cry when all the snow melts...
I wish all my friends snowboarded
its not fun going with katie...
because of her being anerexic and all she has no muscles...
so she went down twice and fell asleep at a table because she was so tired...
she has to muscles to keep her going...
and so I went down alone...
I wish some of my friends would quit being lazy and go with me!
lol

SNOWBOARDING

I LOOK LIKE CRAP IN THIS PICTURE!
anyways i went snowboarding today!
and the instructor was proud of me... he told me how to do something and i got it like the first time...
then i met a new friend and she is so cool! she is from hawaii she is like perfect too
i am kinda jealous lol
lol
but snowboarding is so fun!
i love it! I am so glad that I got to do it!

DANG IT!

MyHotComments


okay so here I was freeking out about basketball tryouts...
and I cant even go to them!
My mom just payed over 300 dollars so i can so snowboarding that day... well its for the rest of the month... but still... goll!
I have to talk to my mom about it...

Basketball Tryouts...

MyHotComments


Okay. I want to try out for the eighth grade basketball team. but I dont think I would make it. I am not very good. Just very tall. I SOMETIMES make the basket and I am usually there when someone needs to pass to someone. I can dribble, I wouldn't say I am horrible. I just dont think I would be able to make the team. We got some way good girls at our school that rock! I suck compared to them! I think I may get the guts to try out. I will suck it up if I dont make the team. Probably feel like i retard. lol. and a loser. lol. I guess I would have to accept the fact that I am a loser. lol this is a moment when I would say, "THE COOLEST LOSER YOU HAVE EVER SEEN" lol. but this is a serious topic. lol. even though I feel like a huge spaz to be worried over something like this. lol. Goll, I really am a loser lol.
point is. I want to try out! but I dont think I have the guts.

MyHotComments


okay...
so this one kid...
lets call him
Joe...
Joe is a jerk
I hate Joe...
Joe wont leave me alone...
Joe only talks to me to get to my sister...
Joe needs to realize that i dont want to talk to him anymore...
Joe needs to know that he is ajerk...
Joe needs to get a life...
Joe should just realize that he is not all that...
If joe knows what is best for him...
he will leave me alone...
I hope Joe is reading this...
He needs to know that the world does not go revolve around him...
Joe needs to just leave me alone and no one gets hurt...
JOE LEAVE ME THE ALONE!