freshly old scars opened up again...

okay so Dallin...
he is really nice and pretty much lets me vent on everything
well he asked me how me and my friend Lezlie (fake name)
are doing ever sents she told my friends that she was GLAD my dad DIED because I DESERVED it...
well heres the convo


d:
umm idk are you and Lezlie (fake name) still fighting
me:
okay first of all she was fighting with herself and her emotions of crap like that ALL i said to her was i wonder why we are all mad at her because she was rude to natalie... and i was never mad at her it was (someone else) THEN she goes and makes up ROOMERS that i DIDNT say so she could go complaining to (someone else) to get (someone else) to hate me. then she told me she was GLAD that my dad DIED because I DESERVED it
d:
so you did like nothing to her
me:
and i still cry over that ever freeking night because she made of lies about me saying i said things i didnt say just so she could say something to bring me down because she thinks her life sucks. She KNEW that would hurt me. SHE KNEW IT WOULD TEAR ME UP AND EAT AWAY ALL THE HEALING I HAVE DONE WITH MY DADS DEATH AND SHE JUST RIPPED IT ALL UP AND NOW I HAVE TO START FROM THE BEGGINING
me:
I did NOTHING to her
d:
do you know why she chose to pick on you
she finds the easiest one to tear down to make herself feel better and im sure she knew that your dads death still got to you and picked that to mess with you and she went way to far
me:
yeah she did... You have no idea how much i miss him... But she does...
d:
and that is why she used that against you because she knew that if she would have said one thing bad about him it would hurt you
me:
she thinks were best friends now... she thinks i can forgive her just like that... when really i am crying right now





I am so shaken up about that right now... Man I goll someone please tell me why the world loves torturing me so much... I did not do anything to her...
yeah sure i said "i wonder why"
when she said everyone is mad at me.
She DESERVED that...
but saying i wonder why everyone was mad at her was NOT rude...
at least not compared to what she said to me...
I am crying right now...
this is all so gay...
why did it have to be MY dad...
not like i would want anyone else going through all this pain...
but i sure as heck dont want any of it...