It sucks, sitting at a wedding watching a happy couple being sealed together with a kiss in front of everyone they know. Despite what everyone is thinking they smile showing everyone they don't care what everyone else thinks. They love each other. Right before they kiss you get a text from your boyfriend saying, "were through". Then, you look up to see the happy couple kiss and feel some tears stinging your eyes. The rest of the night you hold back the tears as you smile and tell everyone how cute the wedding is...
Jared broke up with me.
Last night grandma and grandpa were fighting. Grandma was going to leave grandpa. I was talking to Jared on the phone crying and he didn't even notice. Guess what he talked about? Just guess...
"Oh I have to rest I was at Carley's all day today helping them move. I'll be there all night too. I need to clean out the van to help Carley move too." I said, "Have fun being a slave." Then, I wake up to a text,
"Ugh, I'm so hungry I've been working at Carley's. I wont be able to text because my phone is dead and I'm at Carley's."
Carley. Carley. Carley.
He has been with her none stop. He said he would cut back on it for me, but he didn't.
Jared's always like,
"Poor Carley her parents are getting a divorce. I'm her only friend. She needs me. Her mom, her. and her siblings have to move a whole nine miles across town."
Never was it...
Poor Kacee her parents divorced as a kid. She had no friends. She had no one to turn to when she was little. Her mom, her, and her two sisters moved halfway across the country from their druggie of a dad who abused her mom, almost killed them, and was hurting, and stalking her mom.
Never was it poor Kacee she forgave her dad after years of hating him, and wishing he was dead; he died. She has to carry that guilt around with her every day. She can't stop thinking about it.
Never was it poor Kacee her mom married again to man who tells her she is just a stuck up teenager. He calls people and complains about Kacee and how horrible she is, who told her he wanted out of her life that he was sick of being a dad to her, and the only reason he is staying around is for her mom and little brother. Her step dad hasn't talked to her for two weeks, but he talks to everyone else.
No, not poor Kacee she constantly worries about her mom sinking into the depression she was in when Kacee was little. Kacee went home from school in "help mom mode" where she tried to cheer her mom up, but stupid Kacee you're too little. You couldn't possibly understand depression.
Forget Kacee, she only came to learn seven years later her dad cheated on her mom.
NOT POOR KACEE!!!
Poor Carley.
Don't worry about your girlfriend who was crying to you over the phone telling and you still didn't notice. It's okay. All that matters is poor poor Carley. Gosh, I just feel terrible for her.
Just
Terrible....
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
Jared told me if anything was bothering me to tell him, and when I did he called me selfish.
NO! Want to know what selfish is?
When someone complains to the guy she likes despite he has a girlfriend that her life is so terrible. Just so he will feel bad for her and help her. THAT'S SELFISH!
You don't see me bawling to Jared how bad my life sucks. No. I suck it up, write in my journal, and put on the happy face so everyone sees "the real" Kacee.
My new favorite song: (its in my playlist on my blog if you want to listen with the lyrics I wrote down.)
And no, I'm not the one to blame
It's you or is it me?
And all the words we never say
Come out and now we're all ashamed
And there's no sense in playing games
When you've done all you can do
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
But it's over
I lose myself in all these fights
I lose my sense of wrong and right
I cry, I cry
It's shaking from the pain that's in my head
I just wanna crawl into my bed
And throw away the life I led
But I won't let it die, but I won't let it die
But now it's over, it's over, why is it over?
We had the chance to make it
Now it's over, it's over, it can't be over
I wish that I could take it back
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
I'm falling apart, I'm falling apart
Don't say this won't last forever
You're breaking my heart, you're breaking my heart
Don't tell me that we will never be together
We could be, over and over
We could be, forever
It's not over, it's not over, it's never over
Unless you let it take you
It's not over, it's not over, it's not over
Unless you let it break you
It's not over
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